When you go to work today why will you not talk to the person who sits beside you on the bus?
There are social norms that prevent us from doing such things...weird rules which govern what is appropriate and when...who merits a hello or who is worth one. Our slavish acceptance of these ideas means that we go through our lives in these little bubbles, ignoring most of the people who cross our paths... It's all about context though...so in one situation it would be rude to ignore someone and in another it is perfectly acceptable, in one place we are allowed to talk to someone and in another they would be a little taken aback and on edge if we did...
It's an excuse more than anything though...and I guess a neccesary one in some cases. If the rules were different and they stated that I had to talk to everyone I met if I didn't wish to appear rude I guess maybe I'd struggle to get anywhere in a hurry, get less time to think, spend time in my own head and maybe quite simply get tired of people. But its an excuse that lets us off the hook too...
The same girl makes my sandwich almost every day. I don't know her name. I don't know anything about her. Leaning over the counter and saying, "So...tell me...what's your name?" may come across wrong because I'm a guy and she's a girl...but what gets me is that I am allowed to just give my order, take my food, give my money, walk away.
What is called for is a little boldness and the desire to actually be bothered to reach out. And I struggle to come up with the goods. We need to be brave and step out of our bubbles and dare to encroach on those of others... I can't shake the belief that life would be so much more exciting if we did...
Sometimes I just really want to tell people things but feel like these 'rules' don't let me...or more importantly that people would find such words from a total stranger a little off-putting, maybe even a bit freaky. I often have this idea when on public transport. I would really love to have a little bunch of cards that I could bring with me everywhere. When I saw someone doing something really nice or funny or cute, or when I saw someone who I thought was really beautiful or funky or whatever...I could whip out a card, write what I wanted to say it and give it to the person just before I very quickly and without looking back, jumped off the bus or the tube or whatever...
Stupid I know...but I think it'd be awesome at the same time...
I guess I just get tired of walking past so many lives...sitting next to them...talking to them but never talking to them and certainly never listening...
There are moments when people truly amaze me... The world is an amazing place and we are never going to know everyone in it...of course not...nor should we want to. And anonymity can be a really good thing sometimes too. What I hate however is how little we reach out to each other during the day to day.
One day maybe I'll be bold enough...
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