A light toasting

This is an extract from my wedding speech...or ‘toast’ if you insist on speaking American...

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Next there are sweet kola nuts and bitter kola nuts. Kola nuts are one of the ingredients in Cola Cola that give it its name and the combination of sweet and bitter remind a good African couple that their union must continue whether things are going well or if life is taking a more difficult turn. This is one of the big issues that seems to have been lost in the modern marriage. We fall in love with the idea of being in love, we put love up there on a pedestal, instead of following the God who is Love we wander off in the wrong direction and follow Love as our God , something which CS Lewis says will immediately turn love in to a devil.

I don’t know much about love really, I’m like someone who has seen Far and Away or PS I Love You, eaten Lucky Charms, listened to U2 and read half a book by James Joyce (because it’s awful hard to read a whole one) and then stands up and gives a lecture on what it means to be Irish. I really need to wait until I’m enjoying a Guinness in Dublin before talking like I understand. But I am helped in my ignorance by what Paul has to say in Corinthians 13. And one of the things which I think we miss too often in this passage is that we think when we Love, all of these things, humility, kindness and patience and so on, all these things follow. That is what the world says, that the overpowering feeling of LOVE will ensure that this will automatically be how we treat one another. But the truth seems to be different to me or at least have another angle to it which is also true. Because sometimes our kola will be a bitter one and we will need more than red romance to see us through. Because the emotions, the feelings, will not always compel us in the right direction, and we have to re-read Corinthians and see that these virtues, self-sacrifice, forgiveness and truthfulness ARE the stuff that love is made of. So sure sometimes I will be so deeply in love with you that I will give you my last shmore by the camp fire and I’ll kiss your sugary lips and all will be well in the world but what about if you have an argument? What about if someone starts being more successful at work than the other? What about if someone needs a lot of care of some kind for an extended period? What about then. Because that’s when we show forgiveness, that’s when we don’t show envy, that’s when we show kindness. That’s when we really show love.

Do Peter and Malia realise that? Do they understand what love really is all about? Yeah I think so. And that is really exciting. Malia will tell you that it took me a while to see that but when I got to know Malia properly, when I got to know Peter and Malia as a couple properly, it was quickly very clear that this was a special thing. And personally they give me a lot of confidence that all of this is possible. That it is possible to meet someone you could love at a roundabout. That it is possible to fall in love and stay falling even when geography and circumstance does all it can to stop you. That it can be possible to be so sure of yourself and your heart that you are prepared to leave all you know behind. And live the dream...

...Weddings are wonderful. And it is wonderful to get a chance to stand before people like you and say nice things about people we all love. But really it is all meaningless if it’s just songs and dance. What matters is that we live like it’s true. That we live like we really do love Peter and Malia. That Peter and Malia live like they really are one. That we really follow our God who is love. That’s what matters and what is really exciting is that that is exactly what I believe Peter and Malia are doing.

Truly Precious

This is a little blog article I wrote back in Sweet Salone around July time. The picture is of our whole team, Precious included, as we enjoyed River No. 2 beach on the way home...

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It’s important not to have moments of inspiration when listening to Celine Dion. It just doesn’t make you look good when you tell the story. But nevertheless it was while Celine was warbling about her heart going on that I let my head rest against the seat in front of me and allowed the moment I had found myself a part of wash over me. I was in a place called Moyamba in the hall of a Sierra Leonean boarding home for primary school girls and the questionable music was blaring from a large sound system sitting beside the stage. On the stage in an elegant dark blue dress sat one of this year’s national interns, Precious. At this moment however her internship was taking a back seat to something else...

Precious had just graduated from High School.

The intern team had jumped in to a poda poda (mini bus) and made the three hour journey of potholes, dust and jungle-whizzing-past-the-windows to join Precious for her special day. We were ushered to seats near the front as the ceremony got underway and sat with expectant grins on our faces. As the individual class prizes were being presented, the announcer reached the award for Christian Religious Education and it was too perfect. It felt inevitable. Precious didn’t disappoint and the loudest cheer of the day erupted from the pale skinned third row as our graduate strode on stage. The school band was even struck up by someone who got carried away by the excitement. This was something special and the cheer that reverberated around Harford School for Girls was but scanty recognition of that. Precious is the first child from our Children’s Home to reach this level of education and she has a story which should have made this event an impossibility.

But it wasn’t impossible. She had done it. Precious had just graduated from High School. And as we sat at the party thrown in celebration, a party which included insect repellant pyrotechnics, all the glory and honour was given to God. Precious’ Father, the Redeemer.

The wonder of the moment struck me as the DJ hired for the occasion busted out a daft sound effect and pushed play on Celine. I looked at the beautiful young woman on the stage in front of me. I thought about all the other kids in our home and all those at our schools and how much I want this moment for them too. I thought about their abundant talent and potential, the seeming limitation of their opportunities juxtaposed as it is with the limitless love of their Father.

As Celine’s voice hit a crescendo, I wondered and I thought and I prayed.

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Sitting at the other side of the room were girls from the primary school where the party was being held. We had joined them for their evening devotions before the party, during which they had sung songs of praise and said their prayers together. However, the group of visitors sitting at the back encouraged them to draw proceedings out a bit longer by giving what Sierra Leoneans call ‘Contributions’ – little girls got up one after the other and sang solos. It was really sweet and soon the interns were getting in on the action, teaching the girls new songs and sparking something of a dance party. The girls’ thirst for fun and affection and attention and warmth...their thirst for demonstrable love...was incredible and really moved me. What has become known as ‘The Pre-Party’ was simply wonderful but served to remind us of the drop in the ocean quality of our little sphere of intern influence. It was like driving past shack after miserable shack on the road to Cape Town Airport after two months of building houses there. These emotions should never devalue what has been accomplished but they show us the stark reality that there is always more to be done...and more places to do it...